Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Artist That Outgrew There Original Name!

The lesson in the music biz should be be careful what you name yourself and make sure its something you dont mind having 10 years in the future of longer (if you make it that far) because you may start off with something so dumb that you are stuck and cant grow with it. Heres an example of the best (worst) names in music history!

3LW
That stands for 3 little women in a rip off of SWV but the minature version. The fired original member Naturi Naughton who went on to play Lil Kim in the Biggie biopic Notorious Movie. The group dropped the 3L and now reinvented themselves as the Cheetah Girls With a Disney contract so it worked out for all

Immature
They were so young and so talented but The kids grew up and once in there teens the phrase about not being mature just aint working anymore! They flipped to to IMX but all the hits were used up by then but they did spin off B2K which spinned off Omarion for what its worth.

DJ SMURF
Had a minor hit in the south with The Dip and has resurfaced as Mr Collipark and one of the leaders of the ATL snap whisper sound, producing for Yin Yang Twins (Wait) and David Banner (Play) and discovering the first true internet rap star Soulja Boy Tell em so rap may never be the same, for better or worse

The Teenagers
Lead by Frankie Lymon and performers of one of the 5 best songs in all of pop music history Why Do Fools Fall In Love they broke up almost immediately with Franky going solo but loving the taste of drugs more than being a professional artist, even if he wouldve stayed the group name would put them in a box forever!

Lil Bow Wow and Lil Romeo
This was easy, they both just dropped the LIL from there name, Bow Wow still has an OK career but not the Michael Jackson of the rap game people prophecied, Romeo son of Master P the ultimate silver spoon kid did a Nick show and now plays Division 1 ball for USC but riding the pine the 5"11 sophomore real name Percy Miller averaged 0.7 ppg as a sophomore


3lw cd cover immature imx

Others:
New Kids On The Block - How ya gonna call yourself a kid when you in your 40's?
ABC - Michael Bivins New Edition spin off, one hit when they were cute but it was over quickly
The Boys - Another Jackson 5/New Edition attempt minor R&B hits in the 80's
Mokenstef - Tried like Jodeci to have group based on the 3 grou members one hit Hes Mine disappeared

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Rap Pioneer The Guru of Gangstarr Dies At 43

guru dead

This was a shock to hear that the Guru had passed. I didnt even know he was sick. but hes now passed from Cancer. My first moment hearing Gangstarr and there jazz influenced style i was impressed. This wasnt a duo interested in going pop like Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince or trying to be sexy to appeal to the ladies like LL Cool J and Big Daddy Kane were into, The Gangstar was into straight up street level, timbo wearing head bashing beat inspired with jazz hooks and scratches. The Gurus casual flow and DJ Primos crushing beats delivered critical acclaimed album after album and even spinning off Jeru Tha Damaja with his hip hop Classic Come Clean. the tracks from the Gang will live forever among true hip hop fans that hated commercial rap they were heroes. with Just to Get A rep, Suckers need Body guards, Dwyck with Nice and Smooth, Whos Going To Take The Weight. One of the few 80's rap groups from NYC that survived the early 90's West Coast barrage and remainded consistently popular. And his DJ the ever relentless Primo created classics for Biggie Smalls With Unbelievable and Kick In The Door. Rest in Peach Guru you will be missed.
#Mass Appeal The Best Of Gangstarr

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Worst Athlete Turned Rapper! Dont Ever Try To Rhyme Ever Again!

Mostly from the 90's when everyone was getting paid in the rap game before the recession that even athletes and for some reason mostly basketball players thought they could rap too, and mosty with bad results! heres the worst

deion sanders rapping

DEION SANDERS - MUST BE THE MONEY
He was buddys with MC Hammer so he thought he could use his swag on the field and transfer it to his on wax performance and be platinum right?? wrong. dead fucking wrong. I dont know what Neon Dieon called this crap was it rapping? was it singing? who knows it was just bad from Hammers Bust It Records the 1994 dud "Must Be The Money" a bad remake of the disco/rap hit "Must Be The Music" this was so bad it should be on a VH-1 awesomely bad show! Deone Sanders Must Be The Money

KOBE BRYANT - ???
If you think hes cocky then you must not remember his rookie year and sophomore year in the league. Telling Charlotte Hornets that he would never play for them if they drafted him, Waving off Karl Malone in the All star game, and his short lived rap career. There was an album produced but it was so bad that the record label refused to release it. true story if you insist on hearing him rap click the link, Kobe Freestyle?

kobe bryant rap album

Chris Webber - 2 Much Drama
He got help from Kurupt from the Dawg Pound, probably a little too gangster than the league was looking for in the 90's from one of there best players. and he wasnt a bad rapper but the persona of being gangster and coming off like Spice 1 acting like hes so much pain, with an angst look from an album called too much drama. What was he stressed about he signed a $100 million contract to play ball for a living. he wont be remembered for his rapping (hes not that good), or winning a championship (he didnt) but will always be remembered for the timeout versus Carolina in the NCAA final C Webb and Curupt (Gangsta Tell Me How You Do It)

Ron Arest
Not as accomplished on the mic like his fellow queensbridge murderers Mobb Deep he sucked as a performer and worse as a label exec of his own record label that attempted to revive the career of girl group Allure. In the biggest idiot move of all idiot moves, less than a week after the malice at the palace press conference he stops mid sentence about that fresh incident and plugs his label and the new Alure album about to be dropped. Completely unbelievable, and lack of tact and timing it just leaves you speechless, and the Alllure album tanked.

Shaquille O'Neal
Shack daddy did pretty good in his first releases such as "Biological Didnt Bother" blasting his real father for not supporting him growing up and showing up AFTER the Shaqtus got rich, and even better You Cant Stop The Reign so smooth with a remix lyrics with Biggie Smalls. But he didnt stop while he was ahead and kept releasing albums that eventually got as bad as his Movies like Steel and Kazam. Yeah that bad!

Allen Iverson As JewelzFull of stories of Bitch Ass Niggas, His Bentleys and calling niggas faggots. His flow is ok actually better than so called hot rappers from Yung Money and Plies but the comissioner Stern wasnt too happy about this so Reebok and his handlers kind of made this just go away! and you never heard Alen Iverson as Jewels - 40 Bars

Roy Jones - Round OneHe sounded like a poor mans version of Willie D from the Ghetto Boys and had a problem staying on beat rap at its worse sounds less like clever poetry and more like some nigga on the mic talking shit that dont make sense and Roys version is the latter Roy Jones - Go Hard or Go Home

OTHERS

Tony Parker - So Bad Only released in his home country of France
Andre Rison - Did a song with Ghostface that everyone forgot or never knew existed
Dana Barros - Former Boston College and Celtic journey tried to rap no one cared

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Top 10 Songs About Masturbation! Say What?

You probably didnt even know, or forgot, or secretly like these uhh anthems of uhh self pleasure some are blatant hedonistic songs about playing with yourself while some of them had you singing along mindlessly to songs that were about thrusting your love muscle and you didnt even know it! here are the best of the rock n roll era released in the last 25 years for the art of being an auto-sexual

tweet r&b TWEET - OOPS OH MY Before the prhase Tweet meant annoying unnecessary messages at 140 caracthers or less it was the name of a promising R&B singer and Track #7 Her first hit in 2002 blew the roof with this massive Missy Elliot penned and Timbaland produced funk jam that went to a place that most R&B favorite tracks dont dare to go, she was talking about pleasuring her chocolate pink and only the most naive people didnt get it! but Missy's adlibs shouldve made it obvious this is a classic forgotten album Tweet Southern Hummingbird

cindy lauper CYNDI LAUPER - SHE BOP Her 1984 follow up to the playful womens anthem Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, yes they want to and this is how they do it. This one completely got past the censors and you had elementary kids singing this filth and they and probably there parents had no idea what the song was about. But it included lyrics saying they say I better stop or I'll go blind great stuff! Cindee Lauper - Shes So Unusual

michael jackson reissue MICHAEL JACKSON - BEAT IT Ok this has never been confirmed to be about jacking your dick but lets face it the title of the song is called BEAT IT and of course you remember the video with an all male cast, not one single female in it, and dudes in a gang fight that turns into a broadway musical once MJJ shows up, and the repetitive suggestive lyric over and over and over just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it with that heavy breathing, now youuuuuuuu tell me thats not about jacking off. RIP Mike Jacko you got one pass the censors and it became one of your top 5 biggest hits! Michal Jackson's Thriller

purple rain appolonia PRINCE - DARLING NIKKI Lets face it Prince was the erotic explicit pied piper of R&B years before you heard of R Kelly and he pushed the envelope first on the type of raw sexuality that people were ready for in a "pop star" Jefferson Airplane (Starship) and Kool N The Gang started raw and cleaned up there stuff to be more corporate rock and soul but not Prince he kept it raw like sushi, and you know the lyrics. I met this girl named Nicki I guess you can say she was a sex fiend/I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine! The Kid pulled no punches! Awesome! Prince Purple Rayne


turning japanese THE VAPORS - TURNING JAPANESE Another subversive classic from a forgotten New Wave band from the UK but the song lives forever in tongue in cheek joke infamy. People sung this in 1980 thought it was an ode to Japanese culture but in reality it is a slang term that when you are masturbating you squint so hard when you orgasm that it makes your turn japanese! completely racist and filthy all in one but it was a hit! the bastards fooled everybody if you ever see the video on VH-1 Classic you will bust out laughing now! The Vapors - Turning Japnese




Rounding out the Top 10

6. Dancing With Myself - Billy Idol... Oh? thats what he meant, Billy loved the double entendre

7. I Touch Myself - The Devinyls... So smooth it sounds too romantic to be this filthy

8. The Reflex - Duran Duran... Whey dont you use it, try not to bruise it. case closed

9. Pink - Fingers... I let my fingers do the walking to her "Pink" how ironic!

10. Britney Spears - Touch Of My Hand...Yep she went there as early as 2003!

choking the chicken

Pussy is sweet, so is honey. Jack Your Dick And Save your money - Old Army Saying

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Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Top 10 White Musical Artist That People Thought Were Black?

If you look up the phrase Blue Eyed Soul in wikipedia it means rhythm and blues or soul music performed by white artists but it goes a little bit deeper than that. The root of all popular american musical styles is the blues of course but this post shows that the stereotype of white performers simply copying and doing bad impressions of Black artist is a little far fetched. The African-American experience is definitely the innovator but the interpetation of some of these melanin deficient performers is a good tribute to there darker skin heroes!

Top 10 Best White Performers Doing Black Music Are!!

tina marie greatest hits

TEENA MARIE A protege of The Superfreak himself mr Rick James (bitch) with her professional outing singing a duet with freaky rick on the unforgettable Fire And Desire. She went on to have other hits on Black Radio that were extremely popular with the Black Family reunions in the early 80's with Square Biz, and A Sucker For Your Love. Ironically she was so BLACK sounding that she never crossed over back to white shes always been like a special ivory skinned soul singer thats always been a fav of Black people shes like our own special treasure! Major props to the queen of white funk and soul be sure to get the CD or MP3s for Ten Marie Greatest Hits

macolm mcdonald doobie

Malcom Mcdonald Hear him talk and he sounds like a regular white guy hear him sing and he sounds like a big black guy. He is best known for his legendary hit I Keep Forgetting which was made even more popular by being sampled by Warren G and Nate Dog for there 90's hit Regulate before success as solo blueeyed soul act he was leader singer of the Doobie Brothers on such memorable tracks like Taking It To The Streets and What a Fool Believes Malcolm looks like Kenny Rogers but sings like Barry White in a husky baritone, be sure to get that CD of his best here Michael Mcdonald Greatest Hits

bobby caldwell

Bobby Caldwell This is the shocker to most people under 30, when the hear the song they know What You Want Do (You Do For Love) sampled, remade, sung on the apollo amateuer night etc. and they assume its a classic soul song by a black singer but its not the original performer is Bobbie Caldwell who is white as the whitest whiteman you can find. 32 years after its 1978 release people still assume hes black.. LOL its He may be known for this one hit wonder only but man its a big one and supremely influential on future acts like Robin Thicke (who will get to later) and back to other black performers who influenced him, this is the great example of unintenional cross over, boby didnt know this would be accepted and loved by urban fans but it did by accident and not by some clever marketing scene it justs good pop/soul music. check out Bobby Caldwel CD


hall and oates

Hall And Oates From Philly Pa and one of the most successful pop duos in the history of recorded music, you get the feeling they spent there young years listening to a ton of Gamble And Huff produced music of the Ojays, Teddy Pendergrass and others, Hall and Oats (and that porn star looking mustache) were as popular and respected by the R&B soul crowd as much as the Pop crowd which you rarely see that type of appreciation. I was listening to black radio in the 80's and heard HAO in heavy rotation and requested. The hits are limitless I Cant Go For That, Out Of Touch, or the great ballads One On One, Sarah Smile if you dont have them on your playlist then you dont know shit about music get it Hale And Oats Greatest Hits

The Rest of the List!

5. Christina Augerilia
I am aware that she has a latin father, which technically makes her ethnic and not lily-white but she wasnt raised in this afro-carribean environment but as a regular white girl in Pittsburgh, PA and showed an amazing gift early on the Mickey Mouse club with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake it was HER singing lead mostly. When they first signed her and she did by the numbers teen pop but has burst out with critically acclaimed jams like Aint No Other Man (where she sounds like she challenging Martha Wash or any other 300 pound big black woman ironcally in a little white girls body) and my fav is Beautiful her grammy nominated Ballad. Britnay and her peers may stick to mindless pop but Chrissy is on to something and i expect a long lusturous career for her! Christina Aguilera Best Of A Decade

6. Tom Tom Club
An off shoot of the punk group Talking Heads with there bassist Tina Weymouth and her husband Chris Frantz did a tribute to the funk sound they love and influenced by Roger Troutmans classic More Bounce they came up with Genius Of Love and it used Bernie Worrell of P-Funk fame on the keyboards, and Bootsy Collins. This early 80's experiment has survived the test of time sampled by too many rappers to name get this one. TomTom Club 1981 CD Reissue

7. Lisa Stansfield
She had a huge hit on black radio in 1989 with Been Around The World (and I, I, I, cant find my baby) and shocked all her fans when they found out that there new favorite singer wasnt a black woman in her 30's but a English white lady in her early 20's at the time singing very black she had a few more minor hits but All ARound the way is her magnus opus TomTom Club 1981 CD Reissue

8. Taylor Dayne
Her dance floor big lunged super hitTell It To My Heart in the 80's killed black and pop radio but she never seemed to blow up to the level of her talent she had a few more hits like I'll Always Love You, and her remake of the Barry White classic Cant Get Enough OF Your Love Babe Tailor Dayne is underappreciated by history. Taylor Dane Best Hits

taylor dane

9. Kraftwerk
There German robot music is so influential that 99% of the hip-hop music lover market have no idea who they are but the template for miami-bass which was later slowed down and called double time crunk has all the elements of 4 aryan looking dudes from Duestchland. In interviews they said that the Beach Boys created songs that sounded like California and Kraftwerk made songs that sounded like GERMANY with the technology and big industry! They succeeded with the 1974 underground cult hit Autobahn and the break out 1977 Trans Euro Express. They kept scroging with break dance favorites Numbers and Tour De France who would think some stiff german guys may be the biggest influcence on modern southern rap/crunk when you listen to 1982 Planet Rock By Afrika Bambatta or 2004 One two step by Ciara and 2010 Low by Ludacris its got elements of Krafwerk all over it get this Kartwerk Trans-Euope Express

10. Robin Thicke
The Most successful white artist singing black at the moment, he reminded people of a smooth Marvin Gaye type thing with his hit Lost Without You and then came back with a strong second album that included Magic Touch and a 3rd release has kept him hot with Sex Therapy I guess you could say robyn thick is the white version of Maxwell, who wouldve thought the son of the father on Growing Pains would score so much credibility with a smooth black sound! Kartwerk Trans-Euope Express

others receiving votes

Eminem - If we are talking the rap game he has no peer among white rappers none got this live
Annie Lennox - Most famous as the vocalist of the Eurythmics in Sweet Dreams.
The Rascals - Good Love and Groovin From the late 60's they tore it up.
Steve Winwood - His early Spencer Davis Group stuff "Give Me SOme Loving" stuff is special
Elvis - You always gotta mention him, his Sun Records stuff 1954-58 great blues covers
The Everly Brothers - Another classic 50's duo. You Lost That Loving Feeling sounds Black
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